My Friday Appointment

It's Haiku Friday my friends. Please go visit Playgroups are No Place for Children and spread some blogger love! So I feel the need to preface my haiku today with some background. So I had my annual exam scheduled for 3:30 today. Yeah, you know the fun annual exam that ONLY ladies get to have. I continue to go to my gynecologist that delivered the short person. I was told that when I made the appointment (I mean had to reschedule the appointment) that this was her "on call" day. Ok, fine I thought...I'll play mess with destiny. I actually remembered to call ahead to see that she hadn't been called out to a delivery. Nope, she was still there, so I left work early and headed to my exciting fun pain in the ass appointment, only to arrive and discover that my truly wonderful doctor had been called out. To make things even more painful the ladies at the desk had to add that it hadn't been even more than 5 minutes since she'd left. Dammit, dammit, dammit. (no wonder the short person likes that word). I did get to visit with my favorite nurse while there (hi if you're reading my blog and leave me a comment) which made the whole trip worth it. (even though I'll see her again on Tuesday)

I'd composed my haiku (during my drive to the appointment at stoplights) only to arrive and find the content of my haiku blown. So, I'm sticking with my original haiku...god knows I've had enough of these exams and the experience is the same year after year and it's been seared into my memory. The doctor's voice is italicized.

fun for me today
gynecologist visit
annual exam

forgot to shave legs
hairy armpits to see too
I'm such a loser

"hi, how have you been?"
"great" "how is your little girl?"
"fine, three and sassy"

small talk is over
moving on to the fun part
only yearly....thanks

"lay on the table
put your feet in the stirrups"
insert speculum

it was nice and warm
my very thoughtful doctor
then came the pinch, ow!

breast exam was next
"felt anything abnormal?"
I reply with no

"done, any questions?"
"no, not really"....."till next year?"
"can't wait to see you"

Ok, that's it...hopefully I didn't repulse the weak of heart. I am looking forward to Tuesday and will consider it my "second chance" to shave the legs and pits :)