Sunday, June 1, 2008

What Makes a Marriage Last?

So my hubs and I are approaching our 6 year anniversary and I am compelled to ask you all...what makes a marriage last? There are obvious things, nice to your spouse and listen to each other, yadda yadda. But what do you do when you and your spouse are really really different people with really different interests? How do you keep connected?

We are working on doing date nights more often, but cannot seem to come up with creative date night ideas. Dinner and a movie gets old after a while, ya know? In the past we've done picnics at neat-o parks (Portland and Vancouver have great parks) and bowling. Anyone have any new ideas for us? We'd be really grateful to you!!!

So back to my original do you stay connected and stay married forever? I think back to my grandparents and how they were married for many many years, until death do they part. I don't ever remember them fighting. I don't remember a cross word said about the other. I wonder if grandma ever cussed grandpa out because he was being an insensitive jerk, or if grandpa ever got cranky cuz he wasn't gettin' enough lovin'. Like did they ever argue about money or who would put their short people to bed? I honestly think not.

I think they came from a different time in life, or at least my grandma was a different type of gal than I am. I think she thought she was just supposed to make her man happy and wait on him hand and foot. I guess I was raised a bit differently. My momma is a very strong, independent woman and raised her girls likewise. I have a hard time being a "good wife", ya know?

Like right now I'm chatting with a good friend and she says, "BRB, I need to make {insert husband's name} a drink". I think....omg....tell him to make his own drink. And honestly, I would have said that to Mr. Tall Man (probably). Well, unless I was bored or had nothing else going on. Does that make me a bad wife? An insensitive spouse? I'd love your feed back on all of this.

So, to recap:
1. What makes a marriage last?
2. What do you do to stay connected in your marriage?
3. Date night ideas?
4. Am I a bad wife or insensitive spouse?

Thanks ;)


Liane said...

1. I belive that communicatin is the most important aspect in a marriage. Without honest communication, no matter how hard, it won't work. Period.

2. I am not sure what we to, other than talk, to stay connected. My DH works a lot and we aren't into spending lots of $$ lately. But, we do try to talk every night, at least for 30 minutes or so...

3. Walks, but don't look at me, my DH hates this! Finding a hobby you both enjoy... I am thinking of taking up biking.

4. I think having feelings is never bad or wrong. You know you have the feelings and admit them. What makes you a good or bad wife is what you do with those feelings. Will you ignore them (bad wife) or will you work with them(good wife). After all, we are all people, and it is never easy to live with someone else!

Anonymous said...

I have an idea............just send him on a 15 month deployment so he can go freaking crazy and say he wants a divorce! ;)

Mama Mia! said...

I don't know what makes a marriage last, but I can say that if you are a bad wife or insensitive spouse, then so am I cuz when I read what you wrote about your friend making her hubby a drink, my first thought was, "What, are his arms & legs broken?"

Rebecca said...

Date night ideas. Putt putt? Bowling? Anything where you can just talk? (Movies don't allow for much chatting.)

Good luck!

And I'll bet your grandparents DID have the occasional squabble.

Anonymous said...

if we only surround ourselves with voices that match our own, we never hear anything new.

BRB I have to get (insert husband's name here) a drink, might have also is how I show I care, or that I am connected, or that I care.

Just a thought.