Incredible Contest

So Trish has an amazing contest going on here. Hatchett Book Group USA is giving away 14 books to 5 people...yeah that's a lot of books!!! Seriously, you really need to go check it out and enter yourself to win!!! Oh, and this contest will close on Saturday, July 12th. She'll draw a winner on Sunday, July 13th. Go check it out!!

And on a different note Shorty and I hit the zoo again. Today it was with friends I teach with. We had a lot of fun and will post pictures soon :) I can confidently say that we saw absolutely no penis today. If you're wondering where that statement came from click here to get the low down. You can also click here for more info.

Happy Anniversary & Weekly Winners

So first I have to say Happy Anniversary to my dear Mr. Tall Man for 6 fabulous years. We have our ups and downs, but in the end it's all good and very much worth working for. I also must say thank you for the banana pancakes and roses this morning! And here is a picture of us 6 years ago.

and now.............
June 22-28, 2008

Our friend at the zoo.

Shorty & Future Husband (honest, his mom and I always say we want them to get married!!!)

Shorty & another pal at the zoo, so hammy!!!

Can you say "cheese"?!

Super Cheesy McShort
My good pal Chelsey and her new short man.
Shorty and her gal pals over for a playdate. Cutie finger sucking short girl's mom can be found here. And the shorty in the middle is the new big sister of my friend Chelsey.

Mr. Tall Man covering the pool (thanks for the great idea Lori!) The black plastic heats the pool up. Not steamy hot, but warms it.
Swimmy McShort loving the pool!!!

Pay It Forward Book Exchange Giveaway!!!

Lori at Lori's Reading Corner is hosting an awesome giveaway. Go check it out. She's taking entries until June 29th! Thanks Lori!!!

Elephant Penis

If you've never seen an elephant penis you're seriously missing out in life. It's an incredibly interesting sight. I'm not saying good sight, just really interesting. Train wreck interesting. Like, can't turn your eyes interesting. As I mentioned here my good friend Sally took the pics and sent them today. As promised, here ya go!

notice the obvious shrinkage going on?

had we taken another shot, you would notice that it's gone....

So it led me to want to do some research...here is some info I picked up on the web:

African bull elephants hold the title of the largest relative penis size in the animal kingdom. The longest elephant penis can grow up to six and a half feet long. (like holy crab batman...that's HUGE!)

While elephant erections can reach from two or three feet to five or six feet and 14 to 16 inch in diameter. One enterprising biologist has even gone as far as to calculate the average weight of an elephant penis at a est. 59.5 pounds (with testicles at 4.4 pounds each). (who actually does this research?!)

penis invisible except when extended; testes internal

The elephant's penis has many features in common with its trunk, in that when erect it has the ability to curl and extend upwards, and to hold onto things. Erect, the adult male's penis is almost as long as it's trunk. Also like the trunk, it is capable of creating a suction, thus having a capability to pleasure the female during copulation, or to disengage other males seeking to pleasure it with their trunks.

There you go. You and I now know waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than we ever needed or wanted to know about an elephant's penis.

Haiku Friday

loving vacation!
playdates, zoo, coffee, reading
just time to be me

feeling sick now though
recover quickly i hope
i hate being sick

Shorty is so cute
so mature, so grown up now
i'll blink, she's ten

seriously now...
how did she get to be "old"?!
so empathetic?

waxing nostalgic
looked at scrapbook from first years
can't believe her growth

Backyardigans and Zoo News

So I've got this nasty "summer" cold. Runny nose and crud in the chest. The when you lay down your head is going to just explode cold. Yeah. So after working this morning on year long plans with my new first grade teammates and applying coat number 2 to my bookshelves, I didn't feel like making dinner or playing with Shorty (Mr. Tall is working late tonight). So we picked up a p'zone at Pizza Hut and headed home to watch The Backyardigans from the Library.

I love the fact that Shorty has such great taste in kid-toons. The Backyardigans are fun. They're groovy. They're just all around enjoyable to watch. It's in no way punishment for me and even better, this one had four episodes. These little guys can groove and sing like no other cartoon I've seen. So we ate dinner in front of the TV and then snuggled on the couch. Then it was time for bedtime...stories and teeth brushing.

I'm exhausted. End of story.

Ok, I do need to share with you that the zoo trip yesterday was a complete blast!! I saw the likes of something I'd never before witnessed too...



can you guess?




what it was????



a bird?



no.



a plane?




no




superman?




no




give up?




ok...........................



hold on........................



censor for young eyes...................................





ELEPHANT PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!















This isn't the actual elephant....I forgot my camera...but my good pal Sally took many pics for me and I'm hoping she'll e-mail them to me soon. It was ironic we should witness this event because Sally had just finished telling me all about her last visit to the zoo when the exact thing had happened....oh so interesting. I just couldn't stop watching!!!!

Funny Papers Draft

So I was reading the Sunday Comics and thought I just had to share this!!! Don't get me wrong...I'm loving the kid time this summer, but do feel like there isn't much time for me.

Today was yet another busy day. Shorty was up at the crack of 6am dawn. What the heck is that all about? I mean, really now people. I've been cursed with an early bird. We've been living on the new rule of the clock has to have a seven at the beginning before she can make any noise. Yeah right...that's reallynot working. So tonight it was back to the good old alarm. We'll see what happens tomorrow morning, but if history repeats itself, it won't work either. Our conversation tomorrow morning will go something like this:

(6am) Shorty: mooooooooooooooom, my alarm went beep!!!
Me (groggy with sleep): no it didn't
Shorty: Yes it did!
Me: Shhhhhh....come here! Look at my clock, what number is that (me pointing to the 6)?
Shorty: 8
Me: WHAT?!
Shorty: 6 (in a defeated way)
Me: Ok, so what number needs to be there?
Shorty: 7 (sighs and growls), I'm so mad at you mom
Me: See you at 7
Shorty: Ok (and then she goes to her room and sings and makes noise and when the magical seven finally appears she starts alarming, "mooooooooooooooooom, it's seven!!!" until I respond loudly enough for her to hear.

This is just so silly. All I want is to be able to sleep until 6:30-ish and have a few minutes by myself in the morning. Please god, just let her sleep in for a few days.

So once we finally hit the 7am mark this morning and we went down to watch cartoons and have breakfast. I walked on the treadmill (thanks for the encouragement Katie and hope your foot is doing ok) and showered and we were off to Regal Cinemas for a FREE MOVIE!!! (Gotta love their free summer movies) We saw Arctic Tale. Nice show. I asked Shorty what her favorite part was and she quickly replied, "when the walrus tooted and burped, that was really funny". OK...my kid is a class act. (and btw, the walruses really did toot and burp...honest) We headed to the park for a picnic lunch and then were off to a union bargaining meeting at the district office for my school district.

Interesting process. I'm not really sure what I think. All I know is our contract is expiring soon and we don't have one...I hate starting the school year without a contract, just makes life tense. Then that ugly strike word comes up. Ick. Guess I should be working on a fully funded emergency fund, huh? (thanks Dave Ramsey)

Well it's almost 11pm and I'm still up. Geeze I need to go to bed. We're going to have a zoo day tomorrow with all of our friends.

Water For Elephants

Ok, can I just say that I LOVE summer vacation?! I've had more time to read lately than I can remember (last summer I taught summer school). This weekend I finished off Water For Elephants. WOWZERS! What an amazing book. If you've not yet read it, run to the bookstore or library for it, don't walk!!!

It's a charming story of Jacob's life working the circus as a young man. It also moves back and forth from his young circus life to his elderly life living in a nursing home. The story is just amazing. I have to say I also learned a lot about circus life back in "the day". It's set in the time of prohibition when the circus traveled by train. The star of the book, in my opinion, is Rosie the elephant. Go get this book. It's a fast read...once you start you can't stop! If you want to read a review on it click here.

On a completely different note...no celebrities have contacted me wanting to give me the Versace Patent Shopper yet. But...I did walk on the treadmill this morning. Yahoo me. I was toying with the idea of joining 24 Hour Fitness, but there really isn't wiggle in the budget to add a gym membership right now, and it was hard for me to justify it given that we have a fabulous treadmill here. I will try to be faithful to it for the summer and then re-visit the gym membership idea.

Happy Monday!!!

Weekly Winners

6/15/08-6/21/08
find more weekly winners here

Luvin' the warm weather, eating outside!!

Sporty Spice McShort (she put the outfit together all on her own!)

Loving the summer water sports!!

Shorty's umbrella that grammy brought back from China for her.

Shorty loves Papa!

Dinner with family.

Crazy McShort

Like mother, like daughter!

Versace Love

Ok, so after spending the better part of the day as a "mall rat" with my good friend Liane I fell in love with many bags. This doesn't happen to be one of them, but is very similar to one I saw. When I win the lottery, I will own this lovely Versace Patent Shopper, for the bargain price of $2790.00.

Dear God, $2790.00 is more than I bring home each month. It could feed a family for a year...but many people have these bags. Kind of makes me sad when I think about it like that.

What do you think? What is too much to spend on a bag? Do you buy the knock offs? I guess I just don't get it. Maybe there is a celebrity out there that will read my post and think, oh...it's a poor teacher. She's donated her life to education young children. I think I'll send her this bag (or one very similar to it).

Ok, clearly I'm off topic. So...what do you think?

Haiku Friday

summer vacation
how i so love the time off
time to be human

reading lots of books
hanging out with short person
sitting in the sun

gardening success
ate three raspberries this week
green tomatoes too

pondering next year
knowing a new adventure
will have ups and downs

stupid internet
constantly crashing on me
no wireless love

anybody know
how to help a girl in this
situation out?

just e-mail tips:
thedorrs (at) comcast (dot) net
hopeful to find fix

Proud

So I'm just feeling like a proud parent. Shorty McShort has mastered writing her name and thus was able to procure a library card for herself. I know, call me a dork, but this is awesome to me. Yeah, we've been visiting the library since she was an infant. I'm sure about the time of her first birthday I started asking about when she could get her own card. "When she can write her name", they said. So....it finally happened. And I just feel so proud.

If you haven't joined your library's summer reading program yet, do so!! Shorty McShort loves it. She reads for 5 hours and gets a prize. Yesterday when we went to the library to pick out her first prize she picked a gooey bug thingy (against my warnings of "I don't think you'll be happy with that"). She thought it was gross and didn't want to touch it after opening it. She decided to give it to her buddy River. So my point is this...join your library's summer reading program. It's fun. I only wish our library had an adult summer reading program.

Which brings me to my next point. I finally finished reading The Way the Crow Flies by Anne-Marie MacDonald. It was an interesting read, but reeeeeallly long....800 pages long. And for me, I didn't want to wait that long to find out the big secret. Just my opinion. (Katie, my speed reader friend you are welcome to borrow this book...when can we come play?) It is well written though.

And with that I'm out. On the agenda for today...trip to see Daddy's new FedEx Office store (opening next week, formerly known as FedEx Kinko's), laundry, and some "school work". Shorty loves worksheets (dear god, help me) and begs for "school work". It just cracks me up like you cannot believe. Yesterday I found a great website where you can create handwriting worksheets with what you want on them (I also put a link to it on my sidebar). Yesterday she was practicing her name. Maybe today we'll work on numbers or write a wall story about the strawberry shortcakes we made yesterday...

Grandy Love

This is Shorty McShort's "Grandy". She was here tonight visiting on her way back to Olympia from California. She's a spirited young old lady!! Shorty had a great time with her and Grandy had fun as well.

On a different note...need a Dyson? (if you don't think you do, you do) Dyson makes an amazing sucking machine. We love love love ours and I would love nothing more than to win a new one. Then I'd have one for my upstairs. So...go to An Ordinary Life and read about the Dyson giveaway or click on the link in my side bar. Good luck to ya'll!!! Well, no...I don't want to wish you luck cuz I want to win it myself!!!!

I'm OVER 50!!!

Okay, I'd like to take a minute to toot my horn and announce that I have passed 50. 50 blog posts that is. Can I get a woot woot? Yeah, I know, I'm lame. Or am I just an attention whore? hmmm.....

Well it's the first Monday and no school, but I go in this morning for a few hours of committee work. I'm going to paint a couple of shelves too, but the closer it gets the more I am trying to talk myself out of it. I hate the mess of painting and cleaning up. Wish me luck, we'll see if it actually gets done today.

It's 7am again and my little cherub is still sleeping. I really hope this is a sign for summer. She generally is a 6am riser. I don't really care if she gets up because I'm up, it's just that I really enjoy having some quiet time alone. Time to read, watch the news, blog, etc. So, make a wish for me that the late risings continue.

Speaking of reading, I was reading Natasha's latest post over at Maw Books Blog. She is giving away all of Stephenie Myer's Books in an excellent giveaway. So, go visit and read about the 12 ways to enter. I'm off to finish up my entries for the contest. I'm always looking for a way to get free stuff and Stephenie's books sound great!

Short Ballet

So here is Shorty McShort doing her ballet recital. Could she be any cuter?! I don't think so. She's the one with 2 braids. Enjoy.

Father's Day?

So today is Father's Day. I always struggle with this day and how to approach it. Did I mention that growing up my parents were divorced and I had one of those dads. Yeah, you know the guy who helped to create you, but when the love went sour with the other parent and they split up the guy kinda fell off the earth? (and forgets to send birthday cards or call and then slips you a fifty sometimes, if he sees ya during Christmas break and don't let me even start on the child support issue) Now I'm not saying that I never saw him. Oh yeah, whenever his parents would come get my sissy and I and take us for a holiday I'd get to see him. (I forgot to mention that we lived on opposite sides of the lovely state of South Dakota, about 400 miles apart)

Ok, so you now have a picture of my dad the man who is genetically my other half. Proud doesn't begin to explain how I feel. So needless to say, Father's Day has always been a weird day for me. There is this side of me that wants to try to mend fences, find that perfect card and mail it off. And then I read the cards. Yeah....they don't fit. I usually just make one that says Happy Father's Day. No sappy message inside cuz the sap just doesn't exist.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to say my dad was some raging asshole. He wasn't. He was just uninvolved. And when he finally did get involved (a very little bit) it was like, too little, too late. I don't harbor ill will towards him, just mostly sadness I guess. So I awoke this morning and thought, it's Father's Day and I forgot to send a card to my dad. Then all these thoughts came to me. So I decided to blog 'em.

What do you think? What would you do? Send a card that is full of false representations but fulfills the "daughterly duties" or send nothing, which I didn't mean to do but did. I meant to send a representation of appreciation that would just get the job done. But I forgot. Must be my subconscious at work, huh?

Anyhow. It's 7:00am and Shorty McShort is still sleeping...please God, let this be a sign of things to come (she usually is up with the birds between 5:30am-6:00am).

So, to all you amazing, loving and nurturing fathers out there, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! You deserve it.

Let the Fun Begin!!!

So on my drive home from work yesterday I thought, what a beautiful day. Shorty McShort and I should have a picnic...better yet, we should do it with some friends. So we called our good friend Tina and her little people and met up for dinner and playtime at a nice park. It made me feel really happy to just think that this is what the summer could hold. We had a nice pb & j dinner paired with cheeze-its and grapes. Gourmet, eh?

And then we planned our next get together. I've decided I'm not letting this summer slip by me. No sir-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....I'm going to keep it full and plan for lots of fun. Unfortunately I do have to work a few hours on some committee work and I'm going to paint a couple of bookshelves too. I'm excited about what next year holds. A new grade level and lots to learn.

I'm taking 3 different classes this summer too. So between playdates and classes and things to do around the house and yard, my schedule is full. It makes me happy.

We're headed off to dance this morning and then recital at noon.

Haiku Friday

Schooooooooooools (say it with one smooth syllable) out for SUM-MER!

No more student's dirty looks

free until August

let the fun begin

new adventures will abound

zoo, OMSI, parks, scrapbooking

taking classes too

it's ok, it keeps me sharp

motivational

time with my short one

will I be sane? who will win?

serenity now?

Can You Save Some TP?

So Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom has put forth a challenge...try to use less toilet paper. Just go count your rolls on hand right now...yeah...go do it NOW!!! Then, for 4 weeks just do what you've always done. Then, for 4 weeks you're going to pay attention to what you grab out of habit and try to reduce it. (In the words of Lotus)

Here are the date details from Lotus's site:
Start date for the First Four Weeks is Wednesday, June 11, 2008. End date is July 8, 2008. Start date for the Second Four Weeks is July 9, 2008. End date is August 6, 2008. The PSBN post for August is scheduled for August 11, 2008.

So it'll be fun...just count your darn rolls. I did...we currently have a lot of freaking toilet paper...I buy it when it's on sale, ya know? We have 24 "big rolls", 11 regular rolls, and 61 double rolls. OMG, we could be wiping our butts for the next year. I really need to stop buying tp!

On a different note....the field trip today was great. No crazy tweakers bothered us on MAX but my feet are aching. More tomorrow...the last day of school.

3 More Days

So all I have to say is three more days to summer vacation. Two of them involve children, well...1 and 1/2 with kids. I have a lot left to pack up in my room, but I'm not feeling as stressed out about it all. I think making a daily list (my counselor's advice) has helped. It's not really the work thing stressing me out now, it's Shorty McShort. Dear God help me if she doesn't keep her pearly whites to her own little self and use them only for masticating.

So I'm pleased to report that she didn't try to eat Miss Arch Nemesis today at daycare, but she tried to get me. She says she just wanted to bite my sweater, but she nipped my skin too and it really pissed me off. To top things off we were ending a nice dinner at Old Spaghetti Factory. Needless to say she went to bed without stories again and Mr. Tall Man moved her bookshelf outta her room.

Will she get it? I doubt it...but let's hope so. Aaaaannnndd.....let's hope the weather is dry tomorrow because I'm taking my third graders into the big city of Portland to learn about Old Town. Oh the fun we'll have. I sure hope we get to visit with a screwy tweaker on the MAX. Oh yes, that always makes for a lovely ride into the city....oh man, I should go to bed. Now I'm getting all snarky. The fun times I'll be missing out on next year teaching first grade....

Parenting Is HARD Work

Who would have thought that someone as cute as Shorty McShort could be so mean to other humans.I mean, just look at the cute face, the smile, those eyes. Yeah, they're deceiving as all get out. I mean, I feel like Mr. Tall Man and I are good parents. We try to set limits, treat her fairly and then this...

It's not like we've not been through this before.

We have....

We left her previous daycare over this issue....

She's not a dog....

So why, oh why does she insist on acting like one then? Why does she insist on biting others? She isn't hungry. I know that for a fact. She eats quite well. We don't bite her and neither do other children (even though it's clearly her turn to get a nip from a nice set of pearly whites). So why does she insist on biting others?

Today at daycare she was frustrated with another little girl, which we'll just refer to as Miss Arch Nemesis from this point on. So, she decided to bite little Miss Arch Nemesis in the shoulder, leaving quite a purple mark...yeah....Shorty McShort did a full on major bite...call the victim's mom type of bite....thankfully didn't break the skin (as far as I know), but left quite a bruise bite.

I'm not sure how to handle this. I want to just bite her as hard as I can, but know that isn't the right thing to do. I do have to say though that I am praying that Miss Arch Nemesis will just bite her tomorrow. REALLY HARD. Hard enough that she never bites another human again.

We had a serious talk with her and decided that she would have to go to bed tonight without any stories. (don't judge, it may seem soft, but she LOVE LOVE LOVES books!!) She sobbed and then fake cried. I don't think she actually thought we were serious. I'm not sure what else to do, except hope for the best and be thankful that she has only 4 more days of daycare until the end of August when I'm back at work.

I think we also need to consider a nice gift for her ever forgiving day care provider.

Advice anyone?

Results & Haiku Friday

Counselor Says
ADD is probable
need to find M.D.

medication then?
clear my head so I can think?
serenity now!!!!

Happy Friday to you all. Go over to Playgrounds are No Place for Children and check out some other fabulous 'kus as well.

A Bit of Wine and a Fun Day

So I must thank Jen for a wonderful afternoon drinking wine and eating cheese, crackers, and berries. The wine was exquisite and the company outstanding! (Emma was a total show stealer though) Nothing like a nice visit with a friend over a glass or two bottle of wine and a nice chat. 'Nuff said, need to schedule the next date!!!

I spent the better part of today in an AMAZING first grade classroom...I just needed to start to get my mind wrapped around this idea of a grade change. WHOA. This teacher is AMAZING. I just have to say that I hope I can do even 10% of the amazing work he eeks outta his students. So now I've got my brain working on a whole new set of ideas...I know...I'm sick....maybe even obsessed. BUT, I prefer to just call myself passionate about what I do. And we'll move on.

The short person's leotard (compliments of EBAY) arrived today...so pretty in pink, one short sleeved and one long sleeved along with a cute little skirt. What does Shorty McShort reply with? Where are the slippers? OMG, what kind of a princess have I created?! Guess it's off to Target to look for ballet slippers. Wish me luck....I'll have to take a picture of her in the little outfit...pretty cute. And did I mention that it's all she wants to wear? Yeah...she even wanted to sleep with it. Needless to say I promptly said no and found a "special place" to keep it.

Until my next post....

What Makes a Marriage Last?

So my hubs and I are approaching our 6 year anniversary and I am compelled to ask you all...what makes a marriage last? There are obvious things, like...be nice to your spouse and listen to each other, yadda yadda. But what do you do when you and your spouse are really really different people with really different interests? How do you keep connected?

We are working on doing date nights more often, but cannot seem to come up with creative date night ideas. Dinner and a movie gets old after a while, ya know? In the past we've done picnics at neat-o parks (Portland and Vancouver have great parks) and bowling. Anyone have any new ideas for us? We'd be really grateful to you!!!

So back to my original thought....how do you stay connected and stay married forever? I think back to my grandparents and how they were married for many many years, until death do they part. I don't ever remember them fighting. I don't remember a cross word said about the other. I wonder if grandma ever cussed grandpa out because he was being an insensitive jerk, or if grandpa ever got cranky cuz he wasn't gettin' enough lovin'. Like did they ever argue about money or who would put their short people to bed? I honestly think not.

I think they came from a different time in life, or at least my grandma was a different type of gal than I am. I think she thought she was just supposed to make her man happy and wait on him hand and foot. I guess I was raised a bit differently. My momma is a very strong, independent woman and raised her girls likewise. I have a hard time being a "good wife", ya know?

Like right now I'm chatting with a good friend and she says, "BRB, I need to make {insert husband's name} a drink". I think....omg....tell him to make his own drink. And honestly, I would have said that to Mr. Tall Man (probably). Well, unless I was bored or had nothing else going on. Does that make me a bad wife? An insensitive spouse? I'd love your feed back on all of this.

So, to recap:
1. What makes a marriage last?
2. What do you do to stay connected in your marriage?
3. Date night ideas?
4. Am I a bad wife or insensitive spouse?

Thanks ;)

Weekly Winners

5/25/08-5/31/08

little miss short person

we pulled A LOT of weeds Saturday...trimmed the lilac bush and tree....my back and shoulder are sore today, not to mention the sunburn on my lower back where my shirt must have crept up...you know, the "tramp stamp" area just above the butt....lucky me! we got so much done, but have a lot left to do...this yard work is never ending!!!!

little miss short person at dance class...she's the one in the white shirt

these are the raspberries...really going to town...i'm not sure if i've got it right or not, but it's better than it was....to the right are marionberry plants too

wide shot of our raised beds...much better, but still sooooooo much work to do!!!

the zucchini the short person and I planted

the broccoli the short person and I planted

tomato plants we planted....let's hope for a great harvest....today I need to "feed" the babies with miracle grow!!!

To see more Weekly Winners go visit Sarcastic Mom's site!!!